Family Ties - Up in Knots Usually

It's been a while. A lot has been going on. I'll try to start sharing. I think it will help.

First, let's start with a little background. To say there are some problems in my family tree would be a vast understatement. Our issues go pretty close to the roots. Right now, we have been having problems with our older family members. I've decided getting old really sucks in many ways.

As I've always been the responsible one, a lot of responsibilities have obviously shifted to me, despite the fact that my mother and aunt are still in the picture. In some ways, they are problems in the pictures themselves. To say that all this has put a strain on my immediate family is putting it mildly.

Recently we had a birthday party for our darling daughter. Let's just say it was not the happy, relaxing weekend I was hoping for. I had actually been looking forward to my in-laws coming and bringing some sanity to our home. Due to circumstances caused by my family, not relating to me, but in some ways completely involving me, everyone managed to get pissed off, especially my husband and his parents. I guess I should have been firmer with my family but I always have trouble with that, because, after all they are family and like them or not they still belong to you.

Flash forward a month or so. Now it's time for my birthday. I got my annual present in the mail from my in-laws with one vast exception. Instead of a loving card with a message signed Mom and Dad, I get a generic card signed with their actual names. This may not seem like much but it has really hurt me. For 16 years, every card has been signed Mom and Dad. Now apparently we are back on first name only basis.

This really just reflects everything in my life right now. I have so many more jobs and am failing so miserably at all of them. Now I can add daughter-in-law to my list of failures. I always thought during rough times people are supposed to be more sympathetic. I am finding this is not always the case. Sometimes when you really need someone to lift you up, even in the little ways, they feel more constructive tearing you down.